I want to tell my story about how I sought out to be supported by countless Christian Hip Hop media outlets over the years only to be told that the sound quality of my music was not professional enough.
I didn't have the money to buy that expensive professional sound they were looking for so no Christian Hip Hop media outlets would support my music. No Christian Dj. No Christian radio show. Nobody appeared to be interested in my music until I went to a professional studio. As a 29 year old African-American married father of 4 without a college diploma, I just don't have the money to pay for studio time at $35-75/hr.
When I was younger (and not married or dating) I was totally into secular rap music both as a listener and an artist; I used to book recording time at these professional recording studios all across NYC. My cousin; who is a huge supporter of anything that I do, would split the bill with me. We would sometimes look for the cheapest price of $25/hr per hour just so that we could finally have a place to record! Little did I know at the time that the cheaper the price the lesser the quality and engineer skill.
In between that my wife has always been fighting the spiritual battle for my soul. She gifted me a book titled "Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska" which was I highly interested in but promised God I would not read it just to read it by finishing it as fast as I can but I would allow it to enter my life after each chapter develops a new light in my life. I found so much solemn in the words spoken by Christ that I was immediately convinced this was more than a gift, this was a miracle. It was too good to finish. I never wanted to finish reading the book because I wanted to live it! Still so confused about religion and a consistent commitment to mass I was still very much all over the place.
So here I am, fresh out of RCIA class / Baptism in 2005 looking to share the gospel of the lord in 2006 after converting my music artistry from secular to Christian but no one seemed to care. No one seemed to care about what I had to say until it was done in a professional recording studio. I would take my chances and sign up for open mic events and more than half the time the reception was good. No one ever mentioned sound quality and after my performances I was asked countless times if I had any Cd's, so I began to sell my cd's I burned off of my Toshiba computer and I even bought CD label making software just to make it look more appealing.
After numerous attempts to get the right sound I reached out to a friend who was a self proclaimed recording producer and he advised me on the best USB mics, the best speakers, the best headphones, and the best software. After years of trial and error I ended up making beats.. Totally lost my direction. At that time I read an online article about Jay-Z's success and he emphasized that as a rapper he stayed in his lane and did not do what many artist are trying to do these days, become their own producer. He focused on rapping and that was it. Inspired to refocus on writing only I ended up giving up making beats, sold my $150 drum pad, sold my $600 keyboards, and returned my $300 speakers to Sam Ash. I needed to start over. I was about 23 and all I could think about was how close can I get to a professional sound without having to pay for studio time every single time I need to record music.
Many attempts later I started taking notes on how some of the most successful artist/producers succeed at good sound. Many youtube videos later I discovered a certain level of skill and satisfaction with my production. At the peak of my attempt to produce my own professional sound quality I realized I still needed help, so I started a kickstarter campaign for the sole reason of raising money to purchase a recording package with a Christian affiliated recording company that would cost me about $1,800. In the 30 days given I raised no more than $180. BIG FAIL! Talk about discouragement. I cried for weeks to myself and asked God “Why dont you want me to do this music for you?” I never stopped my religious lifestyle with my family and we were growing so closer to God during these times. My wife was one of my first donors and to see her money go back into her bank account after attempting to stand by her man, I was an emotional wreck. I wanted to give up.
I called my cousin who has been my music advisor and mentor since I was a teenager, I said cousin Claude, I want to give up" He said, "Bro, you are way too talented, do not let Satan discourage you, what you have is what God needs for the world to hear" Still with very little encouragement to push on.. I stopped. I stopped doing music and I started sinning. BIG TIME! I mean, I almost destroyed my marriage. My wife can attest to that! I've caused so much havoc to people and was so full of pride I started writing secular music again and even planned to make a come back. I had about 15 secular songs ready to be recorded and I just couldn't do it. That was very short lived however. Jesus continued to forgive me of my sins and each time I went to confession and I was given special graces each time.
In 2014 I was gifted a pair of Soul headphones by a priest through a Facebook give away post that no one took his offer on. Soon after that my sister, who also records music, textd me and asked if I needed a new Mic? I actually did but had no clue where to start looking. I was previously using the snowball blue mic. So my sister said she ordered this mic through Groupon and they charged her for two and sent her two. She got her money back for their mistake but they insisted she keep the 2nd mic. So I was later gifted a mic only to find out that it was the best at home studio mic on the market. For a year I played with the mic trying to find my best sound and even reverted back to the old mic I had before I got familiar with new one.
I was in recovery mode. I was in rebuild mode. I was in re-trust mode. I need to convince God, my wife, my close friends, and my cousin, that this time I give up on living a sinful secular lifestyle. I needed a big change! A change that I had to make voluntarily. In 2007 at 27 with 3 kids I quit my job that I worked at for 6 years! I quit my job and went back to school part-time. Before leaving my job I did not have another job planned. I was just so overwhelmed with my reality that I needed to take a leap of faith. I said to God, "God, you know my heart, please show people my heart" My wife was distraught but very supportive. I barely completed the semester but earned my credits. Phew! Another 14 credits under my belt!.. Only 2 more years to go! (smh) School was always not my best skill. We racked up over $15,000 in debt trying to live that year..
I found a full-time job and started working for a month only to be laid off, for the first time in my life I was lost. I was losing hope. I turned to that book my wife gave me when we were dating titled "Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska" and I said God, now is the time. i am ready. Over the course of several months I was inspired. I was inspired to live the messages in this book given to us by Jesus and I decided to define my hiphop song writing skill as Catholic HipHop. I decided that I was being called to help God recourse souls to his fountain of Divine Mercy. that same mercy and forgiveness that I received which helped me to move on past my failures. It wasnt until that moment that I didnt need a professional sound. I had a message to share this time! Good sound or not Im going to share it! So I picked up my mic and started searching for instrumentals to record over and I was inspired to write a song I titled: "Novena" this song was a reflection of my beliefs and a cry to god for his mercy that I so desperately needed. In this song are excerpts from the conversations Jesus had with St. Faustina. I decided to use them because I knew that Jesus words were more important than mine. I was no good to say my own words, I needed to say that of the father. It was time to live these messages.
Then I met a Catholic Rapper on Facebook who was filled with the spirit of God in every way that I desired as an individual, let alone a music artist. Through our connection we were able to establish a fellowship and redefine what it means to be a Catholic Artist. Currently, as a recording artist, these days feel like day 1 to me but I have been fighting this battle since 2005. He too has been recording his own music from home for years now & we were both kind of feeding off each other for the best sound quality. A few months after we met I wrote that Novena song and a gentleman I met on Facebook forum called “The Catholic HipHop Forum” sent me a message saying he was moved by the spirit to help out together a visual for the song. After we had a discussion I started an online fundraiser through gofundme(dot)com No longer discouraged by failure I was trying again. This time I was able to satisfy my $500 goal in 1 month. Ahh!! Finally! My wife will think I'm cool again!
It is these series of events which encourage me to continues sharing the messages of Jesus' Divine Mercy because what he has done for me in my life I cannot speak into words. My sincere desire is to recourse souls to Jesus' Divine Mercy and doing it through Catholic HipHop is part of God's original plan for me in my life to be recoursed as well.
DropBox Download: "#Diary E.P" by @Rabelzthemc
Twitter: @rabelzthemc
Instagram: @rabelzthemc
info@rabelzthemc.com
info@rabelzthemc.com
